Fine Line Between Love and Hate
by trumpet1
Summary: James knows he's blown it with Lily - it's been the whole summer and she's still furious with him for estranging her relationship with Snape. He still loves her though, and doesn't know what to do about her hate. Little does he know, there's a fine line between love and hate.
1. Chapter 1

James didn't know what to say when Lily walked in. Normally, he'd flirt, beg her to come to Hogsmeade. But somehow, he knew he had over stepped the boundary when he had turned Snape against her last year.

"Lily flower," James called from across the common room, hoping the summer had dulled her hatred for him. "Lils!"

"Leave me alone, Potter," she growled.

James tried his best to hide his hurt at this. Before, it had been normal for her to reject him and that didn't hurt as much. But now, her hate filled tone injured him. "Why, Evans?" he asked, forcing the same tone and narrowing his eyes.

"Why would I want to talk to you?" Lily said, her eyes flashing with anger. "After all that you've done to me?!"

"'All that I've done to you?!'" James felt his voice raising and the first and second years were staring at them in worry. "Have you ever thought of what you've done to me?"

Lily's voice started to raise defensively as well. "What?! I did nothing to you!" she squeaked furiously.

"Oh yeah," James said nastily. "You've ignored me when I try to be nice to you, you turn down all my attempts to be your friend, you hate me, and apparently it makes you such a better person."

Lily gasped angrily. "Do you know what you've done to me?" she shrieked back. "You made me lose my best friend, you ruined my friendship that I had since I was ten! You constantly annoy me and are rude -"

James lowered his voice. "You're calling my attempts at friendship rude? Calling you beautiful is rude? Because you are gorgeous, Lily, even though you never give me the time of day, even though you push me away all the time."

Lily spluttered and then fell silent. She stared at him with her pretty green eyes, and to his dismay, her eyes started to fill with tears. He didn't mind her anger, but he didn't want to be the cause of her crying.

"Lily," he said, more gently now. "Lily, please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being immature, I'm sorry for ruining your friendship with Snape. I wouldn't have done that if I had known how much you cared. Really, I should've known, because you are so sweet and kind and wonderful that you care about everyone."

James turned and walked away. He couldn't stand the sight of her - her in all her beauty, standing before him, and still hating him. There, he'd said it. His apology. That's all he could do. He may as well give up on her ever loving him - after five years of being in love with Lily Evans, he thought he may as well give up now. The pain of giving up hurt like a wrench in his gut.

Sirius and Remus were standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him. They were the only ones left in the common room other than himself and Lily. They looked at him, Sirius concerned, and Remus's expression unreadable.

A soft voice behind him whispered, "Wait. James, don't go."

Relief and joy filled him at the realization: she had called him James. Lily had never as long as he had known her, called him James.

He turned. Lily was still standing in the same place, staring at him, her face twisted with regret and grief.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

She walked slowly up to him, until they were standing very close, and he was looking down at her.

"I'm sorry for being mean to you, and for pushing you away. It was uncalled for. And I'm sorry for blaming you for ruining my friendship. It probably would've happened anyway.". She choked, and a tear ran down her cheek.

"Oh, Lils."

She suddenly threw her arms around his waist, holding him more tightly than he could believe, her face buried into his chest. He smoothed back her beautiful red hair, holding her tightly as well.

"Don't cry, it's okay."

"I know, I'm okay. I just, I have something important to tell you."

He frowned. "What is it?"

"I don't know how to tell you."

Her arms loosened and she leaned back to look at him. Her mouth was slightly parted, and she moved one hand from his waist to hold his cheek. In surprise, he caught his breath, barely able to believe it. He desperately hoped she'd kiss him.

He could feel her breath against his mouth when she whispered, "James, I don't hate you."

Her eyes closed and she pressed her forehead back into his shoulder. He didn't know how to answer that, gazing down at the girl that was holding him in a tight hug. Girls were so confusing.

"I don't hate you either," he replied. He gazed down into her beautiful green eyes and remembered for a moment why his favorite color was green. This brief thought he pushed away. She was nice, maybe they could be friends, but he couldn't jeopardize that, even for how she was acting in this moment.

He smiled a cautious but kind smile at her. She laughed shyly and smiled back before stepping away, their hands dropping to their sides.

"I'll uh, I'll...see you tomorrow, James," she whispered.

He reached out and touched her hand as she turned away. "Do you promise?"

She smiled at that. "Yes."

He watched Lily walk away, and she turned to look at him before walking upstairs. James slowly walked up the stairs to the boys dormitory, briefly thinking that Remus and Sirius must've already walked up.

He saw both of them in their beds when he came up, but both turned to look at him.

"So, how'd it go with her?" Sirius asked.

"When did you walk up?" he asked.

Sirius grinned, swinging back onto his own bed. "She saw us, Prongs, when you started to walk away, so we left after you went back to her."

James sighed, confused and wondering what the beautiful girl really thought of him. "Well, she hugged me."

Remus grinned as Sirius mocked squealed like a girl. Peter looked up from his bed tiredly, rubbing his eyes. "Moony, Moony, Lils hugged our Prongs!" Sirius jumped from his bed to James, bouncing happily.

"Our Prongs is growing up!" Remus mock sniffled.

James threw a playful punch at Sirius, who punched back grinning.

"I think our Lils likes our Prongs," Sirius said.

James flopped back to lounge on his bed. "I guess we'll have to figure that out later. That was confusing. Girls are so...Lily especially is - "

"Weird." Peter.

"Hard to understand." Sirius.

"Unpredictable." Remus.

James murmured, "Beautiful."

Sirius and Remus guffawed with laughter. Remus, rolling his eyes, muttered, "James is such a sap."

Sirius snorted. "Well, Moony, I think we'll have to work on getting him and Lily together."

James glared. "Don't you dare, Padfoot."

"Jamsie, do I ever ask permission for anything?" Sirius asked innocently.

Remus yawned, falling back against his bunk and pulling his covers over himself. He was always more on the ill side, always more on the cold side, probably due to his problem. "We'll find out tomorrow."

"Good night, Rem. Peter." James hopped into his own bed and Sirius turned off the lights.

Before he had fallen asleep, Sirius leaned over his bed to look at James. "Prongs, did she kiss you?" he whispered.

"No. I thought she was going to though," he whispered back.

"Ah man! We'll have to work on that too!" Sirius's cheerful voice made him smile as he turned over and closed his eyes to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily walked down early to breakfast the following morning. Her mind was filled of thoughts of James Potter - something that usually only happened when she was super mad at him. Instead, the feeling accompanying these thoughts wasn't angry, which is what worried her throughout the night.

She sat at the Gryffindor table, mostly alone, as students rarely came early for breakfast. She sighed and pressed her tired face into her hands. Why couldn't she get the arrogant toerag out of her mind?

_But he's not an arrogant toerag, _whispered the evil voice in her head.

She glared a little at that thought and reached for her glass of warm vanilla tea.

"Good morning!" said a cheerful voice as a young man flopped into the seat next to her.

Lily looked at Sirius Black warily. He and James were nearly inseparable. "Where's James?"

"Oh, Lils," Sirius said happily. "I knew you'd ask!"

She glared at him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Dearest Lily, you look exhausted."

"Tell Potter I'm going to kill him."

Sirius blinked a few times, surprised. "Why?"

She yawned and sipped her tea for a moment before answering. "Because he's so confusing."

Sirius frowned, concerned. He then said quietly, "Lily, James does what he does because he loves you. Maybe it drives you crazy, but I hope you find a way to know that, to remember that. He does everything out of love for you. I wish you could see what your constant rejection does to him."

Sirius then got up and left. She watched him leave, taking another sip of her tea. Lily was tired and confused. She yawned again.

"Good morning, Lily." Remus sat down next to her.

"If you dare start a 'James-is-in-love-with-you' thing, I'll kill both you and Potter," Lily growled.

Remus laughed. "Lily, he is in love with you. That's obvious. But I came down here for breakfast, not to coach you and James in your love lives."

"Thank goodness." She finally decided to eat her plates of scrambled eggs and breakfast potatoes.

Remus also started eating. After a few minutes, he asked, "Did Sirius bug you about that?"

"Mmhmm."

That was when all of Lily's dorm mates and best friends piled down next to her. "Lily!" complained Alice Prewitt. "You didn't wake me up!"

"You always wake up too early!" added Mary McDonald.

"Hi, Remus," said Hestia Jones shyly.

"Hi, Hestia."

"Where's Marlene?" asked Lily.

Alice laughed. Mary and Hestia both blushed out of embarrassment for their friend. "She uh," Alice began. "She, uh, saw Sirius as he was leaving the hall, and well...they uh, got preoccupied with each other. So we came here."

"Where's James?" asked Mary raising an eyebrow at Lily.

Lily blushed, and all three of the other girls squealed. "LILY'S BLUSHING!"

"Shush," Lily whispered quickly.

Remus was watching with an amused expression. "I don't think James falling in love with you is what you have to worry about, Lily. I think you have to worry about it being the other way around. I'm going to class. See ya. See you, Hestia."

Hestia's eyes shone after Remus when he mentioned her name.

"You are more than obvious, Hest," teased Lily. "And I do NOT like James."

The three exchanged glances and giggled again. "You called him James!" exclaimed Mary.

"Not Potter!" squeaked Hestia happily.

A new voice interrupted, "Well, you four must be talking about me."

Lily looked to him quickly. "Um, James. Hi."

She must've been looking at him strangely, for he stared at her as he sat down and then asked, "What?"

"You four Marauders never eat at the same time, do you?" she asked.

James laughed a little. "We've tried to eat breakfast together before, but we all come and go at separate times so it threw everyone off. We do eat lunch and dinner together most often. Remus says he normally sees you at breakfast, probably because you two are normally pretty early and pretty quick."

"Oh." She really didn't know how to answer that.

"Have you seen Sirius?" he asked.

"He came in earlier, talked, and left. He didn't even eat!" Lily replied.

James shrugged. "Probably went to the kitchens and ate what he wanted earlier."

"He was with Marlene last we noticed," Alice added.

James snorted. He took a big bite of eggs and said, "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

Lily finished eating and slowly stood up. She didn't know what to say, really, as she and James had never had such a normal conversation before. "Um, I'm going to class. See you." She realized she had been mostly speaking to James.

"See you," James replied, gazing up at her.

She quickly walked away, knowing her face was probably flaming red.

Transfiguration was her first class, and she sat with Hestia. James and Remus were directly in front of them.

She elbowed Hestia and whispered, "You should go out with Remus."

Hestia blushed deeply. "He doesn't like me," she whispered back.

"Yes he does. He's just shy. He doesn't think he's good enough for you because of - you know."

Hestia shook her head. "I can't, Lily. I just, I can't. I'm so awkward, and...and I'd cry if he rejected me."

Lily looked at Hestia seriously. "I don't think he would."

"But what if he did?" Hestia replied, her big beautiful eyes sad.

"No one in their right mind would," James turned back, smiling kindly at Hestia. "And I think I know who you're talking about, and I think he would worry for your safety, but if you told him that you'll be fine, I don't think he would."

Lily wanted to glare at him, but her eyes were soft with gratitude. "How much did you hear of that?"

"Just the last part," James replied. He smiled wryly. "I'm pretty good with romantic advice, but hopeless for my own."

"I know, I'm the same way," Lily said, smiling a little too.

"Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, I am shocked that you two are discussing your personal affairs in my class!" exclaimed Professor McGonagall. She was a new teacher, but very sharp. "If you please, you won't discuss your relationship in my class. If I catch you at it again, you'll both have detentions. Oh, and five points from Gryffindor."

Lily flushed, looking away from James.

"Sorry," he whispered to her before facing the front.

She whispered to his back, "It's okay."

He turned around and smiled at her quickly before turning back.

James and Remus started a whispered conversation, and finally, Professor McGonagall turned and snapped, "Another ten points from Gryffindor. Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, no more. You two won't sit together next Transfiguration class."

The bell rang and everyone jumped up. Lily watched James walk out, wondering for a moment why she suddenly just realized that he's very attractive.

"You're staring at him," Hestia said from her side.

"Hmm?" Lily turned.

"I've told you a few times, you're staring at James," Hestia said.

Lily blushed. "Oh, heh, right. Yes um, let's get going."

"Hestia! Hest!" Remus rushed to catch up to them in the hallway. "Can I uh, um, can I walk with you?"

Hestia smiled, her eyes glowing. "Yes, oh yes, I'd love it."

Lily smiled too. "Care of Magical Creatures next for you too?" she asked.

"Yeah. James already left, he was going to catch up with Sirius. Sirius had Potions first."

There was a comfortable silence where Hestia kept sneaking glances at Remus and Remus kept looking ahead and looking at Hestia out of the corner of his eye. Finally Lily said, "You two should go to Hogsmeade together."

Remus looked at her in shock, and then glared. "Lily -"

Hestia was staring at Lily with an unfathomable expression.

Remus said, "You know I don't really, um, do that sort of stuff, Lily. It's just, um, you know."

"There's a first time for everything, Rem."

"No," Hestia said. "That's alright, Remus is right. Besides, I don't...I don't really do that sort of thing either, I mean..."

Lily could read the pain on Hestia's face easier than anything.

"Oh look, there's James and Sirius." Hestia rushed away from them, and Remus started to follow her, but Lily grabbed his arm, glaring at him furiously.

"Look, Remus, she knows, and she doesn't care. She still loves you, as a friend, and more," Lily said testily. "A lot more. I wish you wouldn't push her away like that."

"You told her?" he growled angrily.

"No, of course I didn't. She found out herself. It's obvious to the people that love you, Remus. How James and Sirius call you 'Moony'? And it wasn't difficult to figure out you left every full moon."

Remus looked away from Lily, ashamed. "Lily, I'm really, really not good enough for her. She could find someone better."

"She doesn't want to. You're perfect, Remus, even if you don't see it. Unfortunately, you need someone blunt, and Hestia is not blunt. But she loves you, and I wish you would see that."

Lily walked away from him, over to James, Sirius, and Hestia.

"What's up?" James asked softly. "Hest looks ready to cry."

"When did you get so good at reading people?" she teased. Seriously, she added, "I made the mistake of telling her and Remus that they should go out, and Remus was a little upset, which upset Hestia."

James shrugged. "He's got it easy. At least the girl he likes, likes him back."

Lily blushed looking away. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

His expression calmed and he sent a warm smile at her. "Lily, I didn't mean that in a rude way. Sorry it came out that way. Besides, I haven't totally given up. I mean, I'm James Potter after all, I'm Lily Evans's arrogant toerag." He sent her a cheerful wink.

She knew he hadn't realized how much that had pierced her inside, and as soon as the class ended, she fled away.

"Is Lily alright?" James wondered aloud.

"I think you upset her," Hestia accused.

James chuckled a little. "Me? Upset dear Lily flower? Nah. Nothing I say ever bothers her, Hest."

"She likes you," Hestia burst out.

James looked surprised. "She...she does not."

Remus said softly, "You'd be surprised, Prongs, to know how much Lily cares for you."

Sirius snorted. "Lily? Get over all that she has to be angry at Prongs and cares? Fat chance, Moony. Let's go to lunch. I'm starved."


	3. Chapter 3

"Gryffindor!" shouted the non Quidditch playing Gryffindor fans as James Potter swept threw with the Quaffle and threw it through the middle hoop.

"WOOH! POTTER!" screamed the Gryffindors.

The Ravenclaws and Slytherins muttered some cold words against him, but James just grinned.

"AND THAT'S ANOTHER SCORE FOR JAMES POTTER," announced the commentator, Karl Jordan. "MEANWHILE, SEEKERS KIRA SPINNET FOR GRYFFINDOR AND LISA MCDONALD FOR RAVENCLAW ARE SEARCHING FOR THE SNITCH - OH! JAMES POTTER BARELY ESCAPED THAT BLUDGER!"

A bludger crashed by James, nearly knocking him from his broom, causing him to yell at one of the beaters. Angus Brown, one of the younger beaters, flew in the direction of the bludger.

A yell came from the boy suddenly, as the bludger changed direction, flying directly above his head and plummeting towards the stands.

"The bludger is charmed," Mary said nervously. "It can't hit us."

"ROGUE BLUDGER!" screamed someone in the stands and everyone dived aside.

Except Lily, as she tripped, hitting her forehead on the rail. She blinked painfully through the pain that seared through her head, just to see the bludger rushing straight for her.

She shut her eyes tight. The bludger never came.

A grunt came from next to her and she felt someone lifting her up. She opened her eyes to see James Potter leaning over her on his broom. "Come on, Lils. Get onto my broom."

She climbed on, his arm twisted crookedly around her waist. He was wincing greatly as he slowly directed his broom towards safety.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Their faces were very close, which made her already aching head spin.

"I'm...I'm fine," he growled, although she could see pain written across his face.

"No, you're not. Hold on, let me fly."

She hooked her hands around the broom and directed it down. They flew slowly.

"GAME BREAK, JAMES POTTER INJURED, SAVED GIRLFRIEND LILY EVANS FROM GETTING WHACKED BY A BLUDGER!"

She heard James laugh softly behind her. "Hear that? He calls you my girlfriend," James murmured.

"Yeah, I heard." They landed a little bouncily. She stepped off and fell.

Lily barely realized she was on the ground, but her head hurt beyond anything she had ever felt before, and the pain trickled down her back as well. James loomed over her.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"I'm...I'm...my head hurts," she whimpered, and then started to cry. She reached up and latched her arms around him, crying into him, whimpering in pain.

So much happened and Lily wasn't able to follow everything. By the time her head cleared, she was sitting back against a big pillow in the infirmary. Mary, Hestia, Alice, Marlene, and the four Marauders were sitting in the beds nearby.

"I don't remember coming her," Lily said, blinking at them.

"Oh, you're finally out of the potion!" Marlene said cheerfully. "Well, Madam Wisteria gave you a potion on the field, and you probably didn't feel or recognize a thing until you came out."

"I remember James," she replied quickly. "James he - " she looked to her quiet savior, who sent her a small smile.

She shifted until she was sitting up. "James, you saved me."

"Well, sort of," he replied.

"James..."

Sirius interrupted with a, "I'm sure it's past dinner time. Do you mind if I leave, Lils?"

"No, not at all."

"Madam Wisteria wants you two injured people to stay here," Remus said, shrugging. "I promise we'll bring you back food."

"Thanks," James said, watching his friends leave in silence.

Marlene followed Sirius, and Hestia Remus, and Mary smiled at Lily before hopping down and walking out with Alice. Leaving James and Lily.

"James, what happened to you?" she asked softly.

"Well, do you remember that out of control bludger? It was headed straight for your face, but since it was so scary, your mind may have blocked it out. Anyways, in my hero attempt, that hit me very hard in the shoulder."

Lily dizzily swung off her bed and stumbled over to his, crawling next to him. She placed her head in his uninjured shoulder, lying down next to him. He put his arm around her quietly.

"Does your head still hurt?"

"No. I'm just a little dizzy. And tired. And hungry. Very hungry. Do you think Remus would bring me steak, a baked potato, and cheesecake? Oh, and stir fry, and rice and -"

"Okay, you're making me hungry. Please stop."

Lily laughed a little. "Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm?"

She fell silent for a while, and then murmured, "It's been...it's been so awkward since our fight the first night of Hogwarts, James."

"I know. I'm sorry, Lils."

"Why is it so?"

James's arm tightened around her and she felt him sigh. Then, she became aware of a whole new feeling - his lips against her forehead. Then he whispered, "Lily, I want to be your friend. Honestly. But the feelings I have are so much more, I don't know what I would do with myself, even if we were just friends."

There was a short silence, and she could practically feel James's sadness. Then she finally realized what she felt for him. "James, maybe...maybe it doesn't have to be like that."

"What?"

"Maybe we can be more than friends."

"What do you mean?"

Lily sighed a little, turning her face up towards his. "Must I spell it out?"

She reached up and held his chin, bringing his lips down to hers, and kissed him. It was a brief, chaste kiss, but his eyes shone with happiness.

"You...Lils you mean..."

"Oi, Potter. Want to go out with me?" she asked, grinning at him.

James stared at her with a grin spreading across his face, absolutely speechless. "You have no idea, Evans."

Then he was holding her face, and they were kissing. It was better than he had ever imagined, and better than she had ever hoped it to be. She tangled her hands into his hair and he held her tightly around her waist.

The door of the Hospital wing swung shut and they broke apart to stare at Remus, who was holding two plates full of food. He stared, mouth agape.

"Um...well, that's a surprise. I uh, brought you food. Sure hope I'm not interrupting anything..."

"FOOD!" squeaked Lily happily, sitting up and taking a plate.

James took his plate too and they sat together and ate.

Remus watched them eat and after a few moments, finally said, "Look, I'm not really a prying, must know nosy kind of a person, but...I demand to know."

James laughed and nearly choked, leaning forward with his laughter.

"Well...Moony," Lily said. "I do believe that James is my boyfriend."

James howled with laughter by then, and both of them stared at him, wondering if he had gone insane. He'd laughed so hard there was tears in his eyes. "I never thought this would happen!" he exclaimed.

"Remus, will you please keep it quiet? I'd like to tell everyone myself," Lily said, smiling in a way Remus thought only Sirius and James could - a troublemaking gleam in her eyes.

"No problem. You two, uh...good night. See you tomorrow morning." Remus skipped away cheerfully. He turned at the door and asked, "You wouldn't mind if I asked Hestia out, would you?"

"ABOUT TIME!" both cried after him, and Remus grinned and left.


	4. Chapter 4

Lily was still tired and light headed when she left the Hospital room with James. He left immediately for the kitchens, as neither had eaten breakfast. Lily, feeling quite girly, walked to her dorm to get freshened up.

"LILY!" squealed the girls happily.

"You're back!"

"I'm so glad you're alright!"

"You survived being in the same room with Potter for a whole day!" exclaimed Marlene.

Hestia grinned teasingly. "No, Marlie. Miss Lily looovvvvees Mr. Potter now."

Lily felt herself blush when Marlene and Alice squealed with delight. Alice asked, "How long have you liked him? Why didn't you tell us? Are you two together? Are you going out to Hogsmeade with him?"

Lily shook her head slowly.

"But YOU LIKE HIM!" shouted Marlene. "AND HE LIKES YOU!"

"Be quiet, Mar," Lily exclaimed. "You don't need to shout it to the whole world. I'm trying to keep this secret - I'm supposed to hate him!"

Marlene raised her eyebrows, grinning. "There's a fine line between love and hate, Lily flower."

Lily glared at the nickname, changing into her casual clothes for the weekend. She brushed through her long strawberry blonde hair, sighing dreamily at the thought of James kissing her. James Potter!

She skipped cheerfully downstairs. "Hey, Alice, want to play Clue with me downstairs?"

"Sure." Alice loved the muggle game a lot. It fascinated her. And she was very smart and deductive. Alice retrieved the game from under Lily's bed and followed her to the small table in the Commons, and they set up the game.

Marlene, Mary, and Hestia followed as well, all crowding around the table.

"I'm Miss Scarlet!" announced Alice.

"I'm Colonel Mustard," Hestia said.

"Mr. Green," called Mary.

"Ms. Peacock!" Marlene said.

"I suppose I'll be Professor Plum then," Lily said, arranging herself in a comfortable position as her friends started the game. Lily had played the game since childhood, and she loved to watch her wizarding friends learn something muggle, just as she loved to learn about the wizarding world. It was fascinating to her, just as it was fascinating to them.

"Lilykins!" shouted a familiar voice. The five heads turned to James Potter, who walked in brandishing a plate of cheesecake as if it were the most amazing thing he had ever found. "I found you a beautiful New York cheesecake. I hear cheesecake is your favorite, so I had to bring some to you."

James knelt next to her, handing her the plate.

"James, it's too early to eat dessert, it's only 10:00," Lily replied, smiling at him sweetly. She took the cake and placed it on the table. "But thank you, sweetheart." She reached up and kissed him.

There was a collective delighted gasp among the other four girls who stared in shock. Lily released her boyfriend and sat down with her friends.

"Would you like to play Clue with us?" she asked.

"I'd love to." James sat down and pulled Lily onto his lap. "I suppose I have to be Mrs. White."

Marlene and Mary were still staring with mouths agape.

"OOH, LILY!" squealed Alice finally. "I'm like, sooooo happy for you!"

She also dived into James's lap to hug Lily. James didn't complain, grinning.

"I KNEW IT!" shrieked Hestia.

"WHAT THE HECK!" Marlene shouted. "YOU...WHEN...WHAT?! When did this happen?"

The rest of the people were staring at their insane group with something like worry.

James replied, "It happened something like this, 'Oi Evans, go out on a date with me?' and then she kissed me."

"You got it wrong, Potter. It happened more like this." She leaned up, holding the color of his shirt and kissing him.

When they turned back to the others, grinning, Marlene said, "You two really need to get a room. Already. Oh my freaking gosh."

James and Lily kissed one more time before turning to the game. A loud voice screeched, "JAMES POTTER I SAW THAT! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME?! LILY EVANS YOU...WHAT ON EARTH?!"

Sirius came barreling over, knocking James and Lily over. "I saw you kiss him!" Sirius demanded of Lily. "What are you playing at?"

"Potter is now my boyfriend," replied Lily evenly, trying not to laugh.

"AND YOU - "

"Sirius, hush," James said calmly.

"You still call him Potter?" whispered Sirius.

Lily and James exchanged glances. "Well, it kind of stuck," James replied, grinning.

"I could call him sweetheart if you so prefer," Lily added.

Sirius made a funny face, grimacing. "Ew, Evans. Please don't. Prongs is not a sweetheart."

"We're going to Hogsmeade together next weekend," Lily said cheerfully.

"Did you think you weren't going to tell us?" Sirius asked, looking deflated.

James laughed. "Of course I was going to tell you, Sirius. Lily wanted to surprise her friends first."

Sirius was still frowning. He flopped on to the couch. "Humph. Well, Evans, promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"You won't get in the way of our pranks?" he looked at her with big puppy dog eyes.

Lily snorted. "As if I could. I promise I won't."


	5. Chapter 5

"Hello, Lily. I'm glad you were able to come visit tonight," Professor Dumbledore smiled kindly as she quietly and shyly took a seat in one of his large, comfortable chairs.

"Hello, Professor," she said softly.

Professor Dumbledore mildly glanced around the room, popping a lemon drop into his mouth with a look of deep thought. She wondered for a moment if he would speak at all when he finally said, "I suppose you wonder why I asked you here? Well, it's about the current wizarding war against Voldemort."

Lily knew most wizards and witches flinched at the name, but it only caught her attention and made her eyes flash. "What about it, sir?"

"I know you are a very intelligent and strong and capable witch, Miss Evans. Have you ever heard the term, the Order of the Phoenix?"

Lily thought for a moment and shook her head just slightly. "No, sir, I have never heard that. What is it?"

"The Order of the Phoenix is, well, it's a group of very secret wizards and witches that are defying Voldemort. Trying to make sure he doesn't harm any more innocent muggles, trying to stop him, and ultimately, finish him. It is a very dangerous group, Miss Evans, but we would be honored for you to join."

Lily didn't even have to think about it. "I would love to join it, sir. It would be my honor and privilege."

Professor Dumbledore stared at her thoughtfully with deep blue eyes. "Lily, it's very dangerous."

"Professor, living is very dangerous. Especially as a muggle born witch. I may as well join. It's better than running and hiding all the time." Lily stared back at him, not backing down from her answer.

He eventually smiled a small smile. "Very well then. You are an impressive young woman, Miss Evans. Please, go enjoy your evening. The Order of the Phoenix will contact you when need be. Oh, and Miss Evans? I'd be very pleased if you wouldn't talk about this to anyone."

"Of course, sir." Lily hopped up from her chair and left the room with a polite goodbye. She hoped down his spiral staircase, wondering how to explain her absence to her friends and James.

When she reached the common room, she caught sight of Sirius, James, Mary, and Remus all gathered together. James motioned her over when he saw her, and she sat in his lap. When she was met with concerned faces, she was confused.

"Where were you?" Remus asked.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked in reply. "You all look - upset."

Sirius slowly handed Lily a piece of paper. His face was unnaturally solemn.

Lily took the paper and read through the words, slowly realizing it was one of those "Dear Student" letters that students got when their parents had been killed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

_Dear Marlene McKinnon,_

_We are very sorry to inform you of your parents' murder by You-Know-Who early this morning, November 29th. If you are in need of anything, please request of any family friends you can think of or ask Albus Dumbledore. We are very sorry and grieve with you on your loss. They won't die in vain, and that is what we can promise._

_Sincerely,  
The Ministry_

_Department of Aurors_

_Alastor Moody_

Lily stared in shock, and in grief. "Oh, that's terrible! Where is Marlie?"

"Profesor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were helping her leave after dinner," replied Sirius softly. "Her parents were among the best of the best. I can't believe they're...dead. I don't know what the fight will do without them."

"A lot of students have been getting such letters," James said quietly. He looked distantly out the window, concerned for his own parents' safety.

"If they die, they're dying for you," Mary told him, knowing what he was thinking. "I know that's not much of a comfort, but at least your parents have the means to fight back."

Implying, of course, that muggle families had no chance of fighting back against Lord Voldemort. Mary's family, and Lily's family. So many helpless people, killed. Many children left orphaned, many people left sad and frightened.

"I wish there was a way we could help," Remus exclaimed angrily.

Lily looked away. She looked down to her waist, where James's arms held her tight. Slowly, she closed her hands over his, feeling safe in his arms. She didn't want to be anywhere else but here, where he could hold her. She smiled a little sadly, thinking, and Remus and Sirius think James is the sap.

There was a way. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't ideal, heck, it probably wouldn't even work. On the other hand, Lily had to do all she could to protect her family. They could all die, and yet, the prospect of death didn't frighten her. Losing the people she loved frightened her more. This just solidified it: she had to join the Order of the Phoenix.

"Hest," Remus stood when Hestia walked over. Her face was sad. She sat down next to Remus and placed her head in his shoulder.

"Marlie is gone now, with her brother and the Prewitt family. She's...she uh, she isn't doing very well. I'm worried about her," Hestia looked to the Marauders quietly. "I'm worried she might do something irrational."

"Like what?" Sirius asked condescendingly. "In this position, there's nothing she can do."

"Do you really doubt that she would go after him, in this state? It sounds like a very Marlene thing to do," Hestia whispered.

Lily felt James tense. "Where did you get that idea, Hest?" James asked.

Hestia shifted uncomfortably, glancing up at Remus. Remus tightened his arm around her kindly. "She, uh, she became very angry. Professor McGonagall even seemed concerned. Marlene kept going on and on about how she'd get him. You-Know-Who, I mean."

"You think Marlie is going to go after You-Know-Who? That's suicide!" hissed Sirius.

Hestia didn't look at him. "Maybe that's what she's intending."

Sirius's face turned white. Remus said, "Well, she's fine, she's with the Prewitts, I doubt she'll do anything...rash...let's not worry too much. The most we can do is be there for her."

"You can't say you wouldn't do the same," Lily interrupted after a long silence. "Can you? I mean, if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named killed my family and anyone special to me, you can't say you wouldn't try to kill him."

No one denied this, all solemnly staring at each other with sorrowful eyes.

Morosely, Sirius grumbled, "I suppose you're right, Lilykins."

James tightened his arms around Lily's waist. "He won't ever get you, Lily. I promise," James murmured against her ear.

"I'm not worried about me," she whispered back, twisting in his lap until her nose wasn't far from his. "I'm more worried about you."

His eyes smiled at her. "Lily flower, I'm not worried. As long as we have love, everything will be okay. You-Know-Who can take everything from us, but as long as we have love, we have something his side will never have. And he'll only get you over my dead body."

She placed a soft kiss on his nose.

James grinned. "You don't really think you can get away with one kiss, do you?"

"I know I can't get away with it," she replied softly, as he started kissing her gently at first, but then desperately.

"Love," Sirius said softly, glancing to Remus and Hestia. "Love." He sighed deeply and sorrowfully, a sigh much to long and worried and depressed for someone so young and vibrant. Unfortunately, to survive, everyone had to grow up faster than teenagers normally do. They had to make decisions and they had no idea who to trust or where was safe to go - or if anywhere was safe. So every turn was a chance.

Love was the one flower in the midst of a lifeless desert. It was hope.


	6. Chapter 6

"This way," Professor McGonagall walked with Hestia, Mary, and Lily quietly and quickly down the hall. She indicated a door that Lily had never seen before. "Through that door is a hall. Follow the hall to the end and you'll end up in the right place, where a wizard will offer to apparate you. Accept his offer and you'll see me in the place he apparates you to in about 30 minutes."

Lily wasn't much a person to argue, so with her two best friends at her side, they ducked through the door and started down a long hall.

"Do you know where we're going?" whispered Hestia.

"No," the two chorused.

"I trust Professor McGonagall," Lily murmured as the hall got darker. She pulled out of her wand. "_Lumos._"

Mary also lit the tip of her wand. "Besides, Professor Dumbledore asked us to do this. Whatever this is."

"It seems like a wild goose chase to me - EEEE!" Lily screamed at the end as the floor abruptly disappeared and the three tripped and tumbled down a hill in the dark. Lily flopped painfully against the wall of the corridor and moaned. She stood up and relit her wand.

"It's a door," Hestia said, indicating a knob like thing on the door. She pulled on it, and instant light flooded into the tunnel.

Mary hopped through first, following by Hestia, then Lily. The room they came into was poorly organized, with chairs and tables scattered and uncleaned. Dusty cobwebs hung from the ceiling.

"We're in the Hog's Head," announced Hestia, walking in farther.

"Welcome," said the older man behind the counter. His eyes were dark and his voice gruff. "I suppose you're here to meet someone?"

Hestia nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Well, they'll be here in a few minutes."

Lily and Mary walked to Hestia's side, nervously, almost excited.

The door swung open and two very attractive young men walked in. They were identical, except one was a little taller. Both sported a head of handsome red hair and shining blue eyes.

A sigh escaped Mary, and both girls turned to her, hiding grins. Blushingly, Mary glanced away, desperately trying not to stare at the two devilishly attractive young men walked over to the trio of girls.

"And I'm guessing these three lovely ladies are?" asked one gallantly.

"Lily."

"Hestia."

"Uh...hi...I'm...I'm Mary."

The first one, the shorter one, smiled cheerfully at Mary, offering her his hand. When she placed her hand in his shyly, he kissed her knuckles.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, beautiful Mary."

His twin, the taller one, rolled his eyes a bit, grinning. "It is a pleasure, miss Lily. Hestia. Mary. I am Gideon Prewitt. Now, we are to take you somewhere."

He offered them his elbows, and Hestia and Lily both took an elbow, leaving Mary to her enchanting admirer.

"I'm Fabian," he said, mostly to Mary. "Come, we shall take you to where we're going!"

They apparated from there in a loud crack, and soon onto a grassy lawn outside of a gate which held a big and beautiful manor.

"Where are we?" Lily asked.

"Shh, not until we get inside," Gideon murmured, leading the way through the gate and closing it quickly after Fabian and Mary - still holding hands - snuck through. "Fab, send Dumbledore a patronus, tell him we're here."

Lily only saw a flash of silver light out of the corner of her eye, but she turned and Fabian's patronus had already left. "What is your patronus?" she asked interestedly.

"A tiger," Fabian whispered back. "Gid's is a mountain lion. Have you ever cast a patronus?"

"Yes. Mine's a doe," she whispered.

Hestia froze suddenly, staring at Lily in a funny way. "You never told me that."

She shrugged. "I didn't think it mattered much."

"I'll tell you why it matters later," Hestia murmured, following Gideon through the door.

Lily frowned after her friend, but she was soon lost in wonder and amazement at what they had walked in on. It was a huge and beautiful living room, filled with a large group of people. The first she recognized was Professor Dumbledore. Then, she caught sight of Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter, all standing in a corner.

"Lily!" exclaimed James, sweeping over and pulling her into a tight hug. "What are you doing here? This is dangerous, Lily."

"What's going on?" she asked into his shoulder.

"This is the meeting of the Order of the Phoenix," he whispered.

Lily grinned at him cheerfully. "Great! I'm in the right place."

James frowned at her. He glanced to where Fabian and Mary were standing together, talking to each other. "Fabian took a liking to Mary."

"And Mary took a liking to Fabian," replied Lily.

The meeting, which was led by Professor Dumbledore and an intelligent man Lily later found out was Alastor Moody, was quick and to the point. They briefly touched over You-Know-Who's recent attacks and the most recent information on his whereabouts and future plans for future attacks.

"David and Martha McKinnon were killed most recently. Their daughter, Marlene, is currently being cared for by the Prewitts. Fabian, Gideon, how goes that?"

Gideon answered, "She is taking it pretty hard. She would like to join the Order though."

"Okay. Okay, that's good.". Alastor Moody quietly glanced to James, then to Sirius, and then to Hestia. "And in this meeting, we recognize the joining of our new members, who have yet to graduate but still exceed the expectations of other wizards and witches."

Professor Dumbledore introduced them, "James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black. Remus Lupin, Hestia Jones, Peter Pettigrew, and Mary McDonald."

Following the conclusion of the meeting, several of the older Order members disappeared quickly. Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Fabian and Gideon remained behind with them.

"There is nothing exciting going on for the moment other than planning," Professor Dumbledore said, a little apologetically. "However, now you know who's apart of this. You can trust all of them explicitly."

"Except maybe Gideon," Fabian said, shoving his twin playfully.

Gideon rolled his eyes. "It's Fab I'd be more worried about if I were you, considering he's too starry eyed to think straight when he's around miss Mary."

Mary blushed deeply, but Fabian only took her hand and smiled warmly and kindly at her.

Professor McGonagall seemed to be trying to suppress a smile. "Well, these students need to be returning to the school..."

"Ooh! School!" exclaimed Fabian. "Allow me to escort you all back!"

"Alright," Professor Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "Although I'm sure you're only interested in escorting Mary, you're welcome to escort us all."

"I'll be heading home. Fab, if you're not home in half an hour, I'm going to sound the alarms," warned Gideon.

Fabian nodded. He offered Mary his elbow and immediately disapparated. The rest were soon to disapparate as well.

Fabian said an eloquent and cheerful goodbye and see you soon, kissing Mry's knuckles again before leaving the school. The Mauraders and three girls had barely made it into the Gryffindor commons when the portrait hole swung open and Gideon rushed through.

"Fabian?" asked Hestia.

"Gideon?" whispered Mary.

"Gideon," he replied, gasping and panting.

"Gid, what're you doing here? Is Fabian alright?" Mary asked worriedly.

Gideon panted, "Fab is fine. Marlene has disappeared."


	7. Chapter 7

Marlene stood in a cold, wet forest, not completely certain she even knew where she was. Her hand, cold and pale held her wand forward and prepared.

"Who is this?" hissed a cold and slithery voice.

"It's the McKinnon girl," snarled a different voice. Several hooded figures slowly surrounded her. They were covered in long black cloaks, hiding their identities. Death eaters.

Only one had his hood down, and although the face should've frightened her, it only enraged her. It was Voldemort.

"Just kill her, Lord," said a soft voice from one of the Death Eaters'.

"No. None of you will harm her."

Voldemort stood about ten feet in front of her, and she glared angrily at him. Her fingers closed around her wand and she raised it towards his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked silkily.

Marlene stood, glaring, not knowing where to start or what to say or whether or not to blast him there. The first curse to enter her mind burst from her mouth, "Crucio!"

Although surprised, Voldemort easily dodged the spell. He wore a suspicious and evil smile now, his slitted eyes glaring at her. "Oh, you tiny witch. You must think you are so special because you attempted an Unforgivable against me - me! Lord Voldemort!"

"I will never cower before you," Marlene hissed, finally finding her tongue in what she knew were her last seconds. "I would never perform an Unforgivable curse on anyone - except you. Just because my hatred of you overpowers everything else I feel."

"Oh, your hatred is charming, girl," he hissed. "Do tell why you hate me so."

"You killed my family," Marlene said, her composure starting to crumble. She forced herself through the next sentence, determined to say as much as she could before her imminent death. "You deserve to die a painful, terrible death!"

"Do I now?". Voldemort advanced towards her, causing her to trip backwards. She saw him raise his wand and instead of trembling, she glared.

"Fear me, girl, and you'll die painlessly," he hissed.

"NEVER!"

"CRUCIO!"

The pain was unbelievable - white hot liquid pouring through her veins, her blood boiling, her organs shaking inside of her, her head exploding. She screamed and screamed and sobbed wretchedly, but she never feared the man - because all in all, that's what he was. A man. She would not fear him, for he could die. She would not fear him like the others did. She hated him, but did not fear him.

"Crucio."

Breaking all of her bones and burning her skin off would be less painful, but she endured still. Everything hurt with a pain incurable, but even that didn't match the pain she had at her parents' death.

"Crucio!"

She could lose everything, but not her parents. How she loved them so. _I'll see you soon, mum. Papa._

It didn't matter now, the pain. She knew everything was crumbling. Her lungs could collapse, her heart could give up, it didn't matter anymore.

Excessive torture either results in death or losing sanity. She knew her sanity was crumbling, but she could only focus on one happy thought: her love for her parents. The one thing she would never give up.

"Avada kedavra."

The words only lasted a few seconds, but they were peaceful to her. So when she closed her eyes, she wasn't scared. Even though fear seemed logical in this situation, she was never afraid.

"NO!" Gideon Prewitt ran to her body, sobs shaking his body.

Dumbledore was soon to follow, and the Death Eaters and Voldemort had already scattered and left. The Order of the Phoenix gathered silently, all grieving over the girl, who's grief had been too much for her.

"Oh, Marlie," whimpered Lily. She turned and buried her face into James's chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

It took a few hours, but they had soon buried Marlene in a quiet funeral. Before they had placed her body in the grave, Sirius kissed her forehead to her white, graying skin. Even in death, she was beautiful to him.

James placed his free arm around Sirius, and they stood together as Gideon and Professor Dumbledore buried her.

"I'll never love or kiss a girl again," Sirius vowed, glancing up to James morosely. "She is the only girl I've ever loved."

James didn't say a word, because he understood. And as the group slowly dispersed and went back to where they were living, he finally understood what he had to do. His arm tightened around Lily, as he realized what he felt necessary to do.

He was young, too young really, to be considering this option, but he loved Lily, that he knew. And with everyone dying left and right, there was only one thing he could do, to make sure Lily was his and only his, even if it were only for a few minutes.

James decided then and there that he would propose to Lily Evans, and make her Lily Potter.

"She was a hero," Gideon said stubbornly from where he stood next to Fabian and Mary.

"We all have hero capacity, but none of that matters unless someone defeats Voldemort," Professor Dumbledore replied. "Every person has a valuable contribution in this fight."


End file.
